Taking Your Life to the Next Level

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This weekend I heard an incredibly inspiring and riviting message from Rickey Bolden about taking your life your life to the next level.  Enjoy it here:  nextlevel

The 4 key points are:

1.  Assess and evaluate-  Reflect on how you're doing.  What's working, what's not working, what could better in your career, your marriage, your daily life, etc.  

2.  Let go of the past-  Watch your language.  Are you still complaining or talking negatively about what happened yesterday or are you talking about the present moment and where you are headed?  

3.  Change your thinking-  Einstein said, "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."  For example, most people know when they are angry but the don't change their thinking to shift their emotions.  

4.  Let go of the results and leave it to God-  Let go of your stuff.  You are not in control.  Do you want you can do and leave outcomes to God.    

 

 


Value Based Metrics for Improving Results- E.G. My Office Space

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This past Thursday night, I attended an highly educational ASTD (American Society for Training and Development) meeting.  The presenter was Mel Schnapper who is an organizational development expert.  With his Ph.D. in Organizational Behavior, Mel wrote the textbook, Value Based Metrics for Improving Results. 

In his generocity, he shared his model for measuring success with anything.  I will attempt to explain part of his process here.  There are 3Ms of Performance.

1.  Measure- Define in qualitative and quantitative terms what success will look like.  How will measure success at the completion of a goal?  What will it look like, sound like, feel like, etc?  What will you experience?  What will others notice?

2.  Manage- Survey all the variables that will help or hinder your progress.  

3.  Magnify- Evaluate and improve your systems to support standards of "Very Good" and "Excellent."

This model can be used for anything and everything that you want to improve your results on and I've just taken one small part of this model to demonstrate it.

I'd like to use it as a model for goal setting.  Let's say you set a goal.  You will have 3 ways to measure the standard of hitting that goal.  You will have a "Satisfactory", "Very Good", and "Excellent" levels.

I'm going to use a real life example of something I've personally been struggling with and would like to set a goal around.  

My goal is to consistently have a beautiful and organized office.  Mel says that every adjective and adverb means nothing so let me start defining it.  What do I mean by consistently? On a daily basis.   What do I mean by beautiful?  An inspiring place that I enjoy looking at.  What does inspiring mean?  A place where I am drawn to creating and doing great work.  What is great work? Work that is fun and expresses my highest values of connection, impact, beauty, and learning.  What does organized mean?  It means I can work efficiently because I know where everything is and everything is in it's place.  It also means I don't have any distractions with objects out of place such as piles of unsorted paper. It means that everything in the office has a home, has purpose, and is where it belongs. To bottom-line it, I have made decisions for each object in my office and it serves a purpose.  I have no loose ends.  

There are 3 levels of goal attainment:

1.  Satisfactory.  What will this look like?  How will I measure satisfactory?  At the beginning of every day, I will start my day by making sure my work space is clean.  My work space is comprised of  my computer desk and my writing desk.  They are free from papers and things that I don't immediately need.  The immediate working space is clear.  Papers to sort and file away are set aside in piles on the floor.  I can get my work done without too much interference.   

2.  Very good.  What will this look like?  The piles of paper on the floor are sorted, tossed, or filed away.  I don't have piles of paper on the floor anymore.  I have one pile that is sorted through on a daily basis.  I don't keep anything that I don't need.  I have cleaned out my bookshelves and gotten rid of paper, notebooks, and books I no longer use.   

3.  Excellent.  I have gone through all the papers in my filing cabinets and drawers.  Everything I have has a purpose and place and what I don't use I get rid of.  My space is clean, simple, spacious, and organized.  It is a place of inspiration where I can create and enjoy.  I have a system for everything coming in so that it immediately has a place to go.  I have it professional decorated and I love the details in the design. 

I could go in much more detail and depth in measuring but to demonstrate, will keep it simple for now.

There's also the management piece of the puzzle.  What will help or hinder my progress?  This will have to be a post of another day.   What do you want to improve in your life and measure?  Until then, happy measuring~

 

 

 


The Journey

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Do you remember a time if your life when you wanted something so badly for so long?  For years you dreamed of achieving something so grand that you didn't know if it would actually happen for you.   Maybe you wanted to someday run a marathon, have a certain job, or go to some exotic location in the world.  

For me, one of the dreams I've held on to for over a decade was to go to the Maldives.  Let me tell you about the Maldives.  The Maldives is an island nation located southwest off the coast of India.  I don't know where this idea first originated but it seems I accidentally came across it on the internet.  Maybe it was an advertisement for some hotel in the Maldives.  It was a picture so captivating that it enveloped my entire being upon seeing it.  All I could think about was that I had to go.  I absolutely had to go!  There's no question in my mind.  

It was a place so magical and breathtaking.  It had the most lucid blue green waters you ever did see. But what really got me was staying in a tiki hut over the ocean.  In this tiki hut were the most luxurious accomodations. Think modern amenities with every luxury possible.  I'm talking big spacious soaking tub surrounded by glass walls to enjoy the ocean view all around and a deck with it's own pool overlooking the ocean.  To be able to just stand on the deck and even jump right into the ocean without having to walk to a beach was huge to me!  I love snorkeling and looking at fish that this was the ultimate for me.  I mean this place has over 1100 species of fish!   They were everywhere.  And it was a place of absolute tranquility too. There was a peace and a reverance for this place.  It was far away from people but yet it wasn't. Breakfast could come in by boat to your hut if you wanted.  For years I would dream about and imagine my magical place.  

Well, 12 years after seeing the inital image, my big dream would come true.  For our honeymoon, my husband gave into my big dream.  I had to share it with his dream of going to Switzerland too but I was ok with that.  I was so exited to go!  24 hours after we left Atlanta, Georgia, 3 planes and 1 speed boat later, we arrived at Coco Palm Bodi Hithu.  I could hardly contain myself!  After arriving at our accomodations, I stood out on the deck overlooking the magnificant blue green waters and just took it in.  I couldn't believe that I was actually living the dream I had envisioned.  And then a sad thought crept it.  I thought to myself, that's it.  This was the big dream.  I've done it, now what?  I was so annoyed with myself.  It's kind of a let down.  You get to the destination and it's a dream killer.  Now what?  What's the next thing?  Well, don't worry.  I still very much enjoyed my honeymoon.  But it was a notable moment for me to remember that achieving the dream is just a very small part of the dream. The journey and who you become while dreaming about the dream is the meaty part of life.  Don't miss out on enjoying your journey because you're so focused on achieving the dream.  

So my question for you is, what is for you to stay in the journey?

 


The Power of Meditation

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This past weekend I attended an event called "The Power of Meditation" with Ilchi Lee, the found of Dahn Yoga.  Below are notes I took that I believe will help you to improve your life.
Key points:
  • Meditation and brain exercises are helpful for connecting the mind to the body.  Yoga means to remove the barrier between the mind and body so that they operate as one.  It's full consciousness so that we don't live life just in our heads most of the time. 
  • The reason we under perform is because of anxieties and fears.  Meditation centers us and keeps us from getting anxious.
  • It's important to guard our energy.  If we do things we don't like, we get tired.  For this reason, it's important to know what we like doing so we can more of those things that give us energy and less of the things that drain our energy.  
  • Meditation and yoga help to cleanse the unconscious mind.  It helps you to stop being a slave to your emotions so that you will be master over your emotions.  
Things we can do:
  • Pay compliments to people every day, especially to family members and yourself.  Even if it's hard to compliment someone, you can still find something to compliment.  
  • Hold on to your hopes and dreams because without those, we become anxious.  
  • Good and bad energy is produced through information.  Clear out the negative info. in your environment such as the negative people and watching the news. 

 


This One Thing

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by Andy Stanley

You want powerful change to happen in your life....do this one thing.  

We all make resolutions. We all break resolutions. But if we're honest, there is something in each of our lives - a habit, a relationship, a debt - that deserves our attention this year. In this message, Andy recounts the Old Testament story of Nehemiah and draws out a lesson that can be the key to finally accomplishing the one thing we each need to put our minds to this year.

Listen to this message here:  http://www.buckheadchurch.org/messages/this-one-thing

 

 


Stop Throwing Kisses

Hershey's kisses

Talk about small things that make a big difference.  

Over 20 million Hershey's Kisses are wrapped in 133 square miles of aluminum foil each day. That's a lot of landfill waste we can kiss goodbye by recycling.

Speaking of "deep in the ground..."

A used aluminum can is recycled and back on the grocery store shelf as a new can in as little as 60 days. If they were thrown in the garbage, they'd still be deep in the ground 500 years from now.  

Source:  Recycling-revolution.com


Back to Work...Meaningful Work!

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Wow, it's been so long since I last blogged...how sad!  How I've missed connecting with you all!  I just noticed all of the comments coming in from the last few months and I appreciate them so much.

Here's an updated summary of what's been going on during my hiatus for the last few months.  

I've been traveling A LOT since October!  It first started with a visit to my cousin's in addition to attending a friend's beautiful and touching wedding in NYC.  Then, I took a trip to Utah for 10 days.  There I partook in a tennis camp  and went hiking through beautiful Arches and Zion National Parks.  These national treasures are a must see! Then, I moved to the Washington, D.C. area.  Next, I went to Puerto Rico and discovered the bioluminesence, single-celled organisms that glow a fluorescent blue when touched in the water.  It was so cool.  Then the holidays came and I visited my family and especially enjoyed my new baby girl niece.  For New Years, my husband and I spent the weekend with friends at a cabin in western Virginia.  That was great fun!  It has been such an adventure!  Through all that, we have recently unpacked and are getting settled in nicely here so now it's back to work...meaningful work.  

I've started coaching again and it's not a surprise that my clients are looking for new jobs.  They want jobs that are more reflective of who they are and are in line with their purpose.  

So, here are a few resources that may help you with your job hunt as you begin the new year with a bang!

www.ilostmyjob.com

www.flexjobs.com

www.glassdoor.com

www.moo.com

And here are a few random ideas to help you prime the pump as you come up with your own ways to get connected to find meaningful work.

1.  Join associations related to the job or industry where you're seeking employment.  People who join associations are typically in the know and enjoy community and helping others.   They would be a great resource for your job search.

2.  Make a Youtube video about something you love.  Show that you're an expert at something by creating a how-to video that can help someone else.  

3.  Think about your talents, hobbies, skills, passions, and areas of expertise.  Now, how can you get paid doing that? 

4.  What opportunity or need to see in the world?  If something about the world bothers you and you think, someone should do something about that, maybe that someone is you.  

Enjoy the process!


Gems Uncovered by Alison King

 

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Thank you Alison for sharing the following "Hidden Gems" in your life! 

·         Photos – I have taken quite a lot lately, but haven’t put them into books or put recent ones up around the house.  I just bought a Groupon for a photobook that expires at the end of this month, which is helpfully giving me a deadline.

·         Pantry – quite a while ago we bought materials to create a pantry in the basement, and have the space.  I just need to put the shelves up to have a good storage space for extra food.

·         Cooking – I have a bunch of cookbooks, but tend to have similar meals most nights.  I’ve declared this “new food month” for myself and just this week have started to try new recipes.  So far, it has been mixed as far as how well the new recipes are turning out, but the successes count more than the failures since they will expand my rotation.  Tonight I try butternut squash soup.   **By the way, I still have your Joy of Cooking – I need to give it to you the next time we get together.  I really have enjoyed it.

·         Painting – There is a space in my bedroom that is screaming out for a painting, and I have all of the materials.  I just need to actually do something about it and paint.  That would make me happy to wake up to and I would enjoy the process.

·         Guitar – I haven’t been playing too much lately, but Elizabeth loves it when I play to her.  I am working on mastering “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”.  Hopefully I will get that one down this month.


Hidden Gems Contest

Do you notice when unseemingly related things, or synchronicities, keep showing up in your life? It's as if you're supposed to learn a lesson. The definition of a synchronicity is an apparently meaningful coincidence in time of two or more similar or identical events that are casuallly unrelated. I'd like to share with you my synchronistic story with the hope of providing INSPIRATION.   

  

The other night I had dinner with the girls from an old Bible study group. Megan, one of the girls, was telling us about how she and her husband raked 2 years worth of leaves from their backyard which equated to 81 bags of leaves. Unbeknownst to them, their backyard was like a diamond in the rough. Beneath the thick stacks of layered dead leaves, they uncovered the most amazing backyard. Hidden in all the muck of packed rotted leaves lay 3 stone walkways, a cascading waterfall, and a creek all laiden with beautiful stones. That evening, Megan and Gene had dinner outside in their backyard and delighted in a wonder they didn't know they had, all along in their backyard. This begs the question, what is the gem in your life, right under your nose that, if uncovered, would give you great joy?

 

This morning I completed a Bible study on contentment. What a message for me! I admittedly am hardly ever content with things. Part of me really likes that about myself as it drives me and makes me want to work towards continuous improvement. I love to make things better. The flip side is that I find myself almost never satisfied as I am always longing for better with what I currently don't have.

 

The synchronistic message I've been getting is to rest in the contentment that God has already provided. The gems have been placed all around you and me. Contentment is not over there. It is not a destination. It's in the here and now. It's about appreciating what is already right in front of us that we may have been overlooking.

 

As Sheryl Crow says in her song, Soak Up the Sun, "it's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got."

 

What do you have that you didn't know you had? Open your eyes. A famous French novelist, Marcel Proust, once said, "the real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands, but in seeing with new eyes." The treasures are all around you and so obvious that they're easy to overlook. If you're having a hard time seeing them, ask a friend.

 

If you've ever watched little kids at an Easter Egg Hunt, it's very much like that. From the outside, we see that they're walking right past the Easter eggs and we wish we could point it out. The treasure is closer than you think.   What's the treasure in front of you? 

 

I Challenge You....

  

to give credit to 3 things, like the backyard, that seem like a nuisance right now but if unearthed, would give you great delight. And for the overachievers, for maximum joy and delight, I challenge you to find 10.

 

"Hidden Gems" CONTEST 

 

For the next 5 weeks, I'm having a "Hidden Gems" contest for the person who sends me the most inspirational example of a "great treasure" they have overlooked in their current life. This can be in the form of a story, a video, or any other medium you chose. I'll narrow it down to the top 3 and we'll take a vote and have a winner on November 18th. Results will be posted on my blog the week of Thanksgiving.

 

Rules:

 

1.  Email your story, picture, and/or video to kim@mycoachkim.com with the subject line "Hidden Gems Contest" by November 11th. 

 

2.  Submit as many "Hidden Gems" as you want. 

 

Prize:

  

The winner will receive 3 free career/life planning sessions.  

 

Purpose:

 

To encourage you to find your hidden treasures as well as inspire and encourage others to find theirs. To provide more ideas, inspiration, and encouragement to others, I will post on my website any stories that you are willing to share. No story is too great or too small.   Creativity, innovation, and a permission to fail are required.  Won't you join me in re-engaging with life?  Find the extraordinary in the ordinary. 

 

Happy Hunting :-)

 

Kim Grabovsky 

One of a Kind

I don't watch much tv but tonight as I was packing, I turned on X Factor.  I found the backdrop of the singing to be stunning and the music quite impressive and uplifting.  Anyway, I caught the tail end of Drew Ryniewicz only to catch Simon's reaction.   From what I could tell, she took his breath away.  Curious, I decided to look her up on youtube and found her audition video which I share below.

What I like about this is that she took Justin Bieber's song and made her own.  It just goes to show you how we are each uniquely made and beautiful just the way we are.  Whatever you do in life, make it your own.  No one else can do it better.  You're on the right track baby, you were born this way.

Enjoy!

 


Who Are You?

Who-are-you 

I attended a Christian marriage retreat a few months ago in which we identified our "hot" buttons.   In case your mind is in the gutter, let me clarify what I mean by "hot" buttons.  These are things that we are responsible for that can set us off into an emotional tailspin in my relationships if we don't properly manage them.  One of my buttons is when I feel my self-worth is being tested.  If I'm criticized for something or feel like I failed at something, I have a tendency to say to myself, "see, yet another example of you not being good enough."  What a lie!  It's as if I tied my self-worth to how well I execute or perform on things.  In reality, I am good enough because I am a child of God and Christ died on the cross for me.  My worth is based not on what I do or not do, but rather, who God is and the grace he has already given me.  Anyway, one of the ways they suggested at the retreat to combat the negative voices that pop into our heads, aka Satan's lies, is to memorize some of the following bible verses that counter them.  Give it a try! 

Psalm 139:13-14 ESV

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Song of Solomon 4:7 ESV

You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.

Ephesians 2:10 ESV

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Luke 12:7 ESV

Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.

 


Are You Having Fun Yet?

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Do you ever get so caught up in the busyness of life that you forget to have fun?   While preparing for my first 'Toastmaster's' speech, I realized that I put one of my most fun activities on a shelf and left it there.   My first speech is an 'icebreaker,' one in which I tell the audience about myself.   As I put together my outline, my love of ballroom dancing, specifically waltz, came up.  What do I want to tell people about the waltz?  What do I LOVE about the waltz?  I could write a poem on it as I'm so in love with it. 

What do I LOVE about waltz? 

I love getting lost in the music.  When the conditions are just right, I'm in complete unison with my partner, the music, and the world.  It's as if I disappear completely and I imagine I'm flying through the clouds as the music plays.  I don't even know what I'm doing or where I'm going.  It's not a cognitive thing.  I don't have to do an ounce of thinking.  I'm just in flow.  My body just knows what to do.  It's the most wonderful feeling in the world!   I become one with everything and everyone around me that I don't even notice me.   My heart swells when I dance and it seems to envelop everything  around me.  It's pure ecstasy!   It's beyond FUN!   Anyway, I can't believe I forgot how fun it is that I'm setting a goal to make it a priority and get back into it right now! 

What do you do to have fun?  What makes your heart soar?  When will you start?


Are You Prepared?

Prepaid 

Part of having a strong Personal Foundation for your life is being prepared for life events and having a legal plan.   I'm happy to report that I have one.  I recently met Robin Applelbaum, of Pre-paid Legal Services, and I highly recommend you give her a call at 770-380-0691  if you don't already have a legal plan.  For $36/ month on a no contract basis, you too can be covered. 

Below are 15 Reasons to get a Legal Plan:

15.  You don't have an up-to-date will.

14.  You get a speeding ticket.

13.  You are buying or selling your home.

12.  You adopt a child.

11.  Your car is damaged by a hit-and-run driver.

10.  You don't have a living will or medical power of attorney.

9.  You need a patent for an invention.

8. You need a copyright for your manuscript.

7.  A repairman chages more than a given estimate.

6.  You are scheduled to appear in small claims court.

5.  Your new house has bad plumbing and a leaky roof.

4.  You have a fender bender while driving a friend's car.

3.  A retail store won't accept the return of a defective merchandise.

2.  A repairman won't stand behind his work.

1.  You own a small business.


Eliminate Limiting Beliefs

Beyond limits 

This week I came across a powerful video that had a profound impact on my life.   You see I've been watching my internal dialog very closely and to my surprise I've been saying things to myself that have not been too supportive and loving.  I'd venture to guess you have the same negative self-talk going on in your mind too without being too conscious of it. 

The most common thought that goes through my mind when I don't get things 'just right' or when someone is disappointed by something I've done, is the thought, 'I'm just not good enough.'  I try so hard and it's never good enough.  At reading this, I laugh at my last comments because I can challenge it today.  I am good enough and all I can do it the best I can do and that's that.  No judgement.  I can do so much more now.  I can risk more and fear less. 

Here's a great video by Marty Lefkoe that helped me to eliminate this liming belief in my life.

3 common limiting beliefs Marty addresses:

1.  I'm not good enough.

2.  I'm not important.

3.  Mistakes and failure are bad.

Follow this link to the belief elimination process:  www.recreateyourlife.com/free

Who would you be without that thought?


New Ideas

Mind 

Tonight I attended a 'Toastmasters' meeting and was quite enlightened.  What encouraged me to attend in the first place was a book I read called 'How I Raised Myself From Failure to Success in Selling' by Frank Bettger.  My coaching business is my passion but I must admit that I'm not passionate about selling it.  One of the chapters suggested joining a public speaking course to raise my self-confidence so 'Toastmasters' here I am. 

Let me preface this entry by saying I HATE and eschew public speaking.  I don't like attention, especially when I have the attention of many people.  I'm a one-on-one kind of girl.  So, why do I subject myself to such torture?  Because my reasons for attending far outweigh the negative emotions I feel when I think about public speaking.  My reasons are:

1.   I have a vision.  I have a lot to say.  I want to help people and I can't do that if I'm always hiding.

2.  I'm competitive.  I'm a fan of overcoming my fears and I couldn't let fear have one over me.

3.  I value deep connections.  When I improve my public speaking, I'll be able to connect with people on deeper level much more quickly and more powerfully. 

Tonight was fascinating!  The theme was 'Extraordinary People.'  And my hats off to them, I believe all the people in that room were extraordinary.  I LOVED this meeting!  It made me really think....in a good way.  I love thinking.  I got a lot of great new ideas! 

First, there's a 'word of the day.'  The word of the day was 'eschew.'  This means to keep clear of or abstain from, to avoid.  Fellow toastmasters can use the word of the day in their speech to improve their talk.  Looking for ways to use this word had my brain dancing.  I was impressed by how many people used this word. 

Next were some great quotes from Tonie Wellington, the Toastmaster, on extraordinary people.

These are keepers!

"Extraordinary people know that confidence comes from not always being right but from not fearing being wrong."  - I love this quote because I have this thing with trying to do things perfectly so this keeps me from trying new things sometimes.  I feel empowered when I think that I'm extraordinary by not fearing being wrong but by welcoming any learning. 

"Extraordinary people survive under the most terrible circumstances and they become more extraordinary because of it."

"Extraordinary people welcome feedback because they know that when you have the opportunity to be corrected, you have the opportunity to learn something new." 

After their great quotes, table topics were presented.  These are topics in line with the theme. You have a few minutes to give an impromtu speech about a given topic.   The three table topics were:

1.  Talk about an extraordinary person in history that has had the most impact on your life.

2.  Which entertainer has had the most influence in your life.

3.  Which family member has had the most influence over you.

These people had me thinking so hard!  How would I answer these questions?  I'm still thinking.

And that was just the beginning.  The speeches were incredible!  The most memorable was the cooking to entertain speech.   I remember him saying that the 3 ingredients to a good evening was good mood, good groove, and good food.   He really brought the story to life and made me so hungry after his speech.   He actually made public speaking look fun.  It could be very informative, engaging, and valuable.  It doesn't have to be a death sentence (my thoughts).  It could be light and airy like an artist masterfully dotting her canvas with paint playfully bringing to life a scene in Yosemite of the sheer cliffs of El Capitan with whispy clouds in the backdrop.

I could say more about the meeting but there would be so much to say.  My point in writing is to encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and get some bright new ideas.  Get out of your routine and try something different.  Get a change of perspective.  I am so glad I did!  I have been intellectually stimulated and challenged :-)  I'm playing a bigger game.

What will you do this week to expand your world and play a bigger game with your life? 

Taste and see the wonders of this world :-)  Thoughts?

Peace,

Kim